UNLIKELY CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS (DON’T PANIC 15.10.12)

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From Gorbachev’s pizzas to Snoop Dogg’s microwaved snacks, you can bet at least one agent got fired after these ridiculous ads came out.

It’s been an exciting week for bizarre celebrity endorsements. First up was Brad Pitt’s much-hyped Chanel No.5 ad, and now it’s come to our attention that Mr Snoop Lion (neé Dogg) himself has appeared in a commercial for America’s cholesterol-tastic Hot Pocket brand. Of course, Snoop and Brad aren’t the first celebrities to ever lend their famous faces to strange product campaigns – and they certainly won’t be the last.

Brad Pitt x Chanel No.5

Okay, so starring in any Chanel advert is a pretty huge deal. More so when it’s for their iconic fragrance Chanel No.5 – and especially when taking into account that you’ve been chosen as the scent’s first ever male face in history. Not to mention the cool £4million paycheck that comes with it – hell, for that money most of us would probably do it starkers and covered in cream cheese. But for all that money, publicity and expectation – what do we get? A minute of Brad staring into the screen, looking rather uncomfortable and whispering hushed phrases like, “The world turns… and we turn with it”. Deep.

Snoop Dogg x Hot Pockets

We’re all very interested in the new reggae-inspired direction Snoop’s been heading in lately (whether we think it’s any good or not is another matter, if ‘La La La’ is anything to go by), but his recent appearance on a Hot Pockets ad really is something else. Rewriting his 2004 hit, ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’ to ‘Pocket Like It’s Hot’ (geddit?), the advert sees Snoop dropping ingenious bars like “So don’t change the dizzle, turn it up a lizzle/Got some cheesy drizzle dripping on my shizzle”.

Mikhail Gorbachev x Louis Vuitton & Pizza Hut

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That’s right – it’s none other than Mikhail Gorbachev, former General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, and the Soviet Union’s last-ever head of state, pushing ultra-expensive high fashion handbags. Who’da thunk it? And that’s not all – if you’re still thirsty for more Gorbachev-endorsed products, check out the ad the ex-USSR leader made for Pizza Hut in 1998. Though it is not known exactly how much Gorbachev was paid for the spot, rumour has it that it trumped Pamela Anderson’s fee (£150,000) for her ’90s Pizza Hut commercial.

Nicholas Cage x Sankyo Pachinko

In what is quite possibly the most bizarre endorsement of this whole article (if not the world), feast your eyes on Nicholas Cage’s adverts for pachinko pinball machines in Japan. Allegedly, Cage has suffered from substantial debt issues regarding property tax and legal fees over the years, which might go some way to explaining why he’d choose to feature in such a weird campaign.

Benicio del Toro x Magnum

When you think of Magnum adverts, slow-mo images of women biting into ice cream (making none-too-subtle sexualised ‘mmm’ noises) generally come to mind. So, back in 2010, when the brand revealed their new ad campaign starring none other than shoot-em-up star Benicio Del Toro (famed for his roles as a gun-wielding/drug-taking manic in films like Sin City and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas), everyone was rather surprised.

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Ozzy Osbourne x I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter

We all knew the Prince of Darkness was starting to lose his heavy metal edge during the Noughties dog-urinating/teenage-kid-screaming Osbournes reality show era, but none of us were prepared for the ad series he released in 2006 for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Featuring the man himself and a pretty convincing Ozzy impersonator, both black-clad Brummies spend the duration bumbling around the screen expressing that no, they can’t really believe it’s not butter either. The campaign even went on to inspire Sex Pistol John Lydon (we assume), as evidenced in his own recent Country Life Butter adverts. Rock n’ roll, man.

JLS x Durex

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While we’re all 100% pro-safe sex here at Don’t Panic, seeing the smug mugs of X Factor losers JLS plastered across Durex condom packets is enough to make us consider just giving our prospective dates a kiss goodnight instead.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger x Beer, Noodles and a Whole Bunch of Other Stuff

Back in his acting heydey, Arnie was absolutely massive over in the Land of the Rising Sun. We couldn’t pick just one, so here it is – Arnold’s complete Japanese ad collection. Sit back, relax and be prepared to have very little idea what’s going on for the next ten minutes.

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About Charlotte McManus

Editor for LOGO.ec and Trendstop.com Freelance writer - The Creator's Project, SUPERSUPER!, Don't Panic, FAULT, Flux, Who's Jack & more.

Posted on 24/05/2013, in Culture, Radar and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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